My Response To Todd Nickerson

I finally read that second article by Todd Nickerson that appeared in Salon, stating that him coming out as a pedophile has somehow introduced him to some vile “right-wing hate machine”. I want to tell you that no, it is not the right wing that is objecting to your stance. Instead it is normal people who truly see your desire for what it is, a desire to harm children.

Let’s be honest about what your desire is, Mr. Nickerson. What you are feeling is a desire to rape someone. Children cannot have the capability to consent to any sort of sexual contact because they do not have the maturity to understand adult relationships, including sexual ones. By definition, any sort of sexual contact with a child is contact without consent. There is a sort of word for that type of contact: Rape.

Even though you claim to never have acted on those desires, it is still disturbing at the very least. Just imagine if someone goes to a party with a desire to rape that evening. Even if that person never acts on those desires, people will still view that desire as a problem that absolutely must be addressed. You need to find someone to help you with your problem professionally because violence like this is unacceptable, even if it is not acted upon.

And, yes, the problem with Salon presenting your argument in the manner that it did IS that it normalizes pedophilia. This is not simply a condition. It is a disorder that can bring real harm to children if acted upon and should never just be accepted.

I understand you have freedom of speech and have the right to say whatever it is you have to say. I would like you to be quiet, since emotions have a way of making hypocrites of us all, but you can say whatever. I have the right to speak against you, which I am doing right now, but I have nowhere near the platform you have. What angers me is that you, a pedophile, has a larger voice than me, an actual survivor of sexual abuse when I was a child.

That Salon could not find it within itself somewhere to give that counterpoint, it is disgusting. The survivors of abuse should have a voice but are often silent. Instead of providing a platform that will allow more survivors to come forward, Salon is perpetuating an environment where we are too hidden in the shadows. In this, Salon became part of the problem.

If anything, I am the farthest thing from right wing, but I can’t find myself in the left anymore, either. The left is pushing me further away as it is supporting more positions that I find untenable.


Abuse Victim Blamed For Being Abused

A woman who molested an 11-year-old boy did not receive ANY jail time. The more I hear about stories like this, the more I believe that women abusers are not taken as seriously as a man. This story just exemplifies the attitudes people have to male victims of abuse when the perpetrator is a woman, and it’s sad. It continues an attitude that men and boys cannot be victims, forcing people who suffer from such abuse to continue being victims in silence.

This story is reported in The Sun by Alex West, describing how Jade Hatt, age 21, had sex with the 11-year-old boy she was babysitting. The story actually described how intercourse lasted for less than a minute before he asked Hatt to stop because he believed it was wrong. However, the boy’s father dismissed the abuse by saying it was just “a notch on his belt.”

Rob Ross, who defended Hatt, said that the boy was “sex mad” and was “fully up for the experience”, even though the boy is 11-years-old. Additionally, he said his client, Hatt, was “very immature for his years.”

The judge, Tim Mousley QC, said that the immaturity of the woman and the maturity of the boy somehow cuts into the arithmetic of the age gap. Because of this, Mousley sentenced Hatt for to six months in prison suspended for two years and must register as a sex offender for the next seven years. What this ends up meaning is the woman will receive no jail time at all.

But the person that disgusted me the most is the boy’s father, saying that this was just another notch in his son’s belt. If there is actually such a thing as toxic masculinity, this would be the definition. Instead of seeing his son as a rape victim, the father looked at the molestation of his son as some sort of conquest. I usually don’t argue for children being taken away from their parents, but this might be one of those times where it is a good idea.

The sickening thing about this entire situation is that it is a classic case of blaming the victim. By labeling him as “sex mad”, people are arguing that this boy deserved the molestation. Worse yet, an actual court of law bought this excuse. Just imagine if the abuser was a man and the victim was a girl, people would be screaming their outrage. Nobody would dare call an 11-year-old girl “sex mad”. It is like I found out before, people do not want to view women as abusers and males as victims. That is the society that is being propped up, one where men are afraid to come forward with abuse for fear that they will be the ones blamed.

This article touches on something personal for me, for I was 11 when I was molested by a woman. I have not came out with this until recently. Too many times, whenever someone said he was molested by a woman as a boy, they look at that as if it was something to be celebrated instead of it being the abuse that it is. When it happened to me, it was not another “notch on the belt” but an experience that followed me for decades. It effected relationships I have been in. I abused alcohol and drugs for decades. This is a serious issue, but the people are treating this boy as if he did something wrong. This is a stance that we cannot support. Hatt is the adult, she is the one who needs to take responsibility.

Just imagined that if she gets pregnant, what would this boy’s responsibility? How could he, as an 11-year-old, actually be a father? What if the boy got a disease? And we still cannot tell what lasting effects this event will have on his personality. These are issues that must be addressed before anyone else is harmed. We need to call this what it is. Hatt is a pedophile and deserves to be treated as such. This boy must not be turned into the one who is blamed, and Hatt cannot be made the victim.

The link to West’s article is below.